What is the simplest reply to any question?
How easy do you find it to say 'No?'
I used to really struggle with this…
(…tbh I often still do.)
It can help to think of it less as denying, and more as protecting something valuable, vulnerable and authentic (i.e. you!)...
...and reminding ourselves that not just us, but those around us, are likely to benefit too.
Setting boundaries that align with our values is an important way to sustain ourselves.
My journey to burnout was definitely littered with many failures to set boundaries, leading to a sustained drain…
...so how can we set healthy boundaries?
It can help to reflect on our values, and even practice ways to say no in advance!
Like any skill it takes time and practice to become fluent.
Some of us can find it tricky ‘in the moment’ to avoid falling back into the habit of saying ‘Yes’ to keep everyone happy.
(Except of course, you. You are not likely to be happy if by saying yes you have contravened one of your own values or overcommitted.)
In her book ‘Speak Your Truth’ Fearne Cotton describes practicing saying no with trusted friends and even cab drivers!
Examining the assumptions that underlie some of the times we say yes – and then regret it - can help shed some light…
The fallacy of multitasking.
None of us can do this – when we have several tasks to do at once, we just rapidly switch between tasks. This saps energy and hinders efficiency.
Perfectionism
Is that what sits behind a tenancy so say yes? Is a perfect outcome required or even attainable?
We can’t change our minds.
If we find we said yes, but on reflection realise it was a mistake – we can simply say so…
There will always be more time.
None of us know how long we have on the planet.
It can help to reflect on this when we decide what to say yes to.
Because of course, by definition when we say yes to one thing, we are saying no to something else.
There is always an opportunity cost.
Here are some thoughts one of our lovely Thrive Well community members had on this.
What is the opportunity going to cost you…?
I’d love to hear yours!
Just reply to let me know.
This week is Mental Health Awareness Week
The theme is connecting with nature.
How can you connect to nature more to boost your mental health?
Choose one tiny step – and see how it goes taking action on it!
Explore More
Mental Health Awareness week resources are here
Mary Oliver's full poem is here.
Open Access Thrive Workshops Coming Soon!
In the next few months I am running a short series of Open Acess Thrive Workshops to share fabulous strategies to get you working and living well.
They will be fun, safe, interactive spaces to reflect & learn.
You will come away feeling inspired & empowered.
Just message me to pre-register your interest.
And I'll leave you with a quote …
“...Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?”
- The Summers Day, Mary Oliver
I’d love to hear your thoughts! Just message me -
